ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

There's really no denying it, my body is a stubborn bastard...it does what it wants, it doesn't listen to what I want it to do, this is evident in several areas such as when I dance, play sports, walk in heels and my favorite (note heavy sarcasm) sleep!

There was a time in my life, lets call it my dark period, sounds more artsy than that time of my life when my world was crashing down around me and I sort of sat there like a sloth....when I took a little pill to help with sleep, ambian was my friend, we hung out every day....and then we didn't and it was sad :(

And then my body decided that just to mess with me it would listen for a while and that sleep was good, so so good, songs could have been written about it good.....and then it stopped and it was sad :(

A good friend sent me an article on dealing with insomnia, there was a test to see if you had it, its always fun to score high on tests, just not insomnia ones...or that time Maisie aced the "do you have ADD inattentive" test....

The article gave helpful tips on sleeping..

Your bedroom is for sleep and sex only....crap....maybe I should start renting out the room for extra money as neither of those are taking place in there..... 

Turn off all stimulating activities before bed including tv and computer...WHAT!!!! I'm not getting the sex that I'm supposed to be getting in tip #1 and now I can't have my bedtime fix of Sister wives or the Kardashians either ????? Not fair!

Avoid naps....Nap ? I'm not sure I understand this one....what is a nap ?

Make sure your bedroom is dark, quiet & cool...open a window if necessary to let in a breeze....ok, yes, yes and most of the time, however if I open a window I perhaps risk hypothermia or frost bite..

No caffeine.....bwahahahahaha, this article was NOT written by a single parent....

I'm supposed to try relaxation techniques too, one of which is progressive muscle relaxation, they obviously have not heard about my crunchy muscles and back, my back muscles don't relax, unless there's shock therapy electrical stimulation being used and that might go against the no stimulating activities rule, then again it might count as kinky sex because if you turn it up too high it hurts so good!

And so yesterday whilst browsing the cough medicine aisle for something for Finn that wouldn't make him projectile vomit and would hopefully stop the spittle laden coughing fits that were going on I saw it.....

Angels sang, there was a biblical light shining on it AND it was on sale with my trusty Walgreens card....

I waited till I was feeling sleepy, my legs were twitchy, it was time for bed...right after the pairs ice skating (secretly wanted the Russians to win, I liked their routine and outfits better). I popped the little purple pills and hopped into my dark, quiet, cool not stimulating bed...and waited...and waited....and waited...

NOTHING!

I finally feel asleep but it most certainly wasn't the restful sleep that Kathryn Heigl gets in the commercial....I was scammed, tricked, $10 down the toilet...until about 5am, when suddenly I felt that warm and fuzzy feeling that comes with deep sleep......ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP 

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!

Yup, it's 6.10, time to wake up! If you've ever tried to wake up shortly after a sleep aide kicks in you'll know it's about the same as trying to swim through a pool of jello, it's just.not.happening. I lay, drooling, trying to remember how to walk when I got the following text from Maisie..

"I don't feel good I feel like if I move my stomach might burst open it really hurts"

(we don't like punctuation at 6.15am)

I managed a "go back to bed" text and closed my eyes, thankful that Cal only bothers me to say he's leaving in the morning and I didn't have to get up...until..

"MOMMMMMMAAAAAAA"

Time check said 6.18, what the f@$%!!!! I stumbled/rolled/fell like a drunk trying to hold herself up at the bar into Finns room...

"I had a dream and I'm hot"

I assured him he was fine, or at least thats what I  think I said, who really knows, checked for fever, warm but ok, drooled a little, muttered something about sleeping more and staggered back to bed..

I think Finn got up around 8, I remember attempting to put the password into the ipad at some point and either it rained in my room or someone sneezed on me a few times....there were a few "Momma, I'm hungry" "Ok, I'm comi....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz" until 9, when it got more desperate "Momma, I'm going to starve". 

So here I am, jacked waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay up on caffeine, already knowing that tonight will likely be a lost cause because I'm already breaking the rules, parts of my body still feel a little numb and asleep..maybe if I take the zzzquil with lunch, this will be me at 10pm!

Children update : Finn is feeling fine, no fever, still hacking up spittle laden cough balls but happily watching some weird ass Mario Bros show Cal found on Netflix yesterday after already doing several puzzles, asking approx 35469 questions and reorganizing his playmobil guys...Mai ate some toast and so far has not exploded.