How to dress for "Spring" soccer....

While most of the country is enjoying Spring for reals, we're experiencing our first Colorado Spring...it's like a giant game of chicken with Mother Nature vs Mothers wanting to wash and put away snow pants, scarves, mittens, boots, thermals....On Saturday there was a high of 73*, shorts, sunblock, walks around the pond....today was a high of 44* with a windchill of 36* which quite honestly was a freakin' lie...it was DAMN COLD!

I was reminded today of the classic Miss Congeniality quote...

Stan Fields: Miss Rhode Island, please describe your idea of a perfect date. 

Cheryl "Rhode Island": That's a tough one. I'd have to say April 25th. Because it's not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket.

If April 25th was the perfect date then April 28th was the perfect "HAHA SUCKERS....you thought it was Spring" date!!! I give you...my poor boy at his soccer game!

Soccer version of the stay puft marshmallow man!

Overall it's been a pretty consistent breezy season with a few exceptions....

The sunny day where only a thermal undershirt was needed!

The blizzard day...that's Cal in goal back there!

So today we decided to give you a step by step guide on how to dress for Spring Soccer in Colorado!

Step 1....Thermal undies...you can skip this step if skies are blue, sun is shining, wind isn't blowing & game is starting immediately...if there is any length of time between getting dressed & game time, I do NOT recommend skipping this step..

Step 2....Sweatpants, shin guards,socks & cleats, sweatpants could be optional if your child has experienced Winter in CO and is somewhat acclimatized...check weather reports before deciding though, add or minus 20* to weather report & go from there.... 

Step 3...Shorts & fleece sweatshirt, if you have chosen to skip sweats OR thermal pants OR thermal shirt OR any combination of those...DO NOT skip this step under any circumstances!

Step 4....Extreme measure...usually enforced when it's already freakin' cold before you even leave the house. At this point your child will inevitably need to use the bathroom...even if they just went or you just asked them.

Step 5...Cram child into soccer jersey!

Step 6....Accessories! DO NOT FORGET GLOVES If you forget gloves then your child is GUARANTEED to ask to use yours, and you'll be faced with the dilemma of "oh my sweet boy is cold, I should give my gloves but if I do then perhaps my hands will freeze off!" 

ALWAYS BRING GLOVES!

Tips

~Sticky hand & feet warmers are your friend...BUY IN BULK!

~Choose a soccer team that practices near a drive thru that serves hot beverages!

~If the weather looks gorgeous, don't fall for it...pack all this stuff in your car.

~Camera.....herds of 5 yr olds swarming the ball in ridiculous amounts of clothing is funny!

Thank you to my sweet boy, who has only had to borrow gloves twice, never complains about the silly amount of clothes he's wearing even when his siblings laugh at how ridiculous he looks and most of all has only had to use the ice cave public bathrooms at the field once all season although the quote of the season is.....

"At Cals game tonite (the blizzard game) I had to pee but it was cold so I just went in my pants a little bit"

Good call sweet boy, good call.

"Hello Heidi, this is A&E's Hoarders calling"

Back in the Fall I had to get new tires, one of my tires was pretty new and I hated to have them just throw it away or pay for them to throw it away because seriously how hard is that to do that there needs to be a fee for it! So I brought it home with me....behold the power of Pinterest yet again.....

 I could make this cute seesaw....

I'm sure this would be easy to whip up!!!!

Alas...the tire sat in the garage for months, then it made its way to a spot next to the trash can but can you trash tires ? recycle them ? take it back to the tire store and say "Forgive me I'm a craft hoarder will you throw away my tire now please..."

NO!!!!

You turn it into a chair!!!!!

Step one : Enlist the help of the soon to be lucky tire chair recipient to spray it with odor blocking primer.

(in my defense she was TOTALLY on board with this project)

Step 2 : Oh so carefully attach 4yards of thick batting to tire with spray on tacky glue making sure to avoid spraying hand then touching batting....we speak from experience over here!

Step 3 : Test it out, get stuck & have to be pulled out by yo Momma.

Step 4 : Thread the sewing machine needle for your weary eyed mother.

Step 5 : Cut 4 yards of cute fleece into strips and then sew them end to end to make giant strips....

Step 6 : Create the ultimate Colorado Winter scarf!!!!

Step 7 : Try & hula hoop with a tire.

Step 8 : Demonstrate the fabulousness of it all.

Step 9 : Lock your bedroom or cute little boys will sneak in when you're at school & read books in the nest, snuggled up with a matching pillow....

Up next...crafting with more crap we've got lying around the house....

Is it a cat ? Is it a rabbit ? No...its a catabbit!

It all started with Pinterest......

Actually it probably started when we decided to decorate for Easter and realized we were seriously lacking in the whole bunny, chick, egg deco's department....so we headed to Pinterest!

Handcrafted fabulousness shone from every corner...but the thing that caught Finn & mines eyes.....

Handmade stuffed bunnies!!!

Some were cute...some a smidge creepy but all were adorable in their own way...

We needed to make bunnies!

Next I had the fantastic stupid idea that we should design our own bunnies...patterns are for losers and my printers out of ink till next payday anyway! So the kids drew their bunny designs, Finn apparently assuming I took sewing lessons from the elves of The elves and the shoemaker fame and drew tiny little pictures...Cal showed off his artistic (or lack thereof) talents...(really I'm not one to talk after this project!) and Mai was on hand to thread the sewing machine for me...when did I get old lady squinty eyes?

They raided the fabric stash, left me their instructions and abandoned me to play wii...

What followed was several hrs of foul language, several moments of hysterical laughter (there's no way to shove stuffing up a rabbits butt with teenagers in the house that doesn't result in some crude comments!) and 3 bunnies that quite possibly will be featured in a series of pinterest fails!


I'm not sure what happened or why his arm is growing out of his neck...I asked Cal if he was going to snuggle with his bunny & a look of fear came across his face...the name Rayman Raving Rabbid may have been mentioned...

You may think that deformed leg was due to operator error and quite frankly I wouldn't blame you...but nope, all part of the design, it is apparently an alien pirate rabbit and that is his peg leg!

Maisie was unavailable to pose with her delightful creation, hers is most definitely the most well made of the bunch (which is quite a scary thought) but those ears.....cat ? bat ? she devil ?

I have no doubt that these snugly terrifying creatures won't be the last of our pinterest fails...lol

Stay tuned this week for another we've lost our mind crafting project!!!!